


My Lover’s Got Bars

by changquarius



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, F/M, Itll get a lil dark y’all, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changquarius/pseuds/changquarius
Summary: Wonho has never forgotten the kid he met in middle school, and after drifting apart they happen to reunite under sketchier circumstances years later. Now their encounters heavily involve drugs and Wonho can’t admit he’s still in love.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

He hustled down the busy streets, determined to get to his last stop for the night before the temperature dropped too low. Hoseok managed to skip over half-frozen puddles and small patches of snow scattered throughout the long stretch of sidewalk. Tonight the temperature was dropping especially quickly, as if Mother Nature knew exactly where he was headed. She took no mercy on a sinner like him and purposely made the journey every night to His place increasingly more difficult.

He started sprinting without realizing, his wide shoulders bumping into passersby and receiving a couple “Watch out, bitch’s” in return. He can’t help it, he was just too eager to see him even if it had only been 7 days. Unable to admit how desperate he is, he makes up excuses why he only buys only a little at a time. “Rent was due this week, I can only afford a dime bag,” was a go to excuse every month. “I don’t like to keep much on me, would hate to get my shit stolen or lost” also being thrown out here and there when asked why he won’t just buy more at once and save money, as well as a 25 minute walk across town.   
  


But he couldn’t handle not seeing his face once a week. He was only his dealer and nothing more, supplying weed and Xanax, and on occasion, various pills that were party favors for concerts or survival kits for long days at work. But the discount ‘gorilla glue’ strain of marijuana and the extra 2 bars he would slip into Hoseok’s baggy weren’t the only reasons he was so damn excited to see this 5’7” and 3/4 man typically every Thursday at exactly 7:05 pm.

He was deeply in love with him.

They met in middle school. His dealer used to be the most straight-laced kid that Hoseok knew. They had the same schedules all year and after bonding over being loners, they became close friends almost immediately after.

Oh, how much things have changed since then.

Hoseok finally turns onto the street where his dealer’s apartment building sits unsteady, ever so slightly swaying in the freezing, late autumn wind. He beelines straight for the dilapidated front door of the building and buzzes apartment number ‘514.’ His fingers are almost numb at this point, rubbing his poor bare hands together and struggling to bring circulation back into them. He snaps out of his thoughts as soon as the most beautiful and deep sounding voice he’s ever heard reaches his ears, albeit warped by the staticky and half broken speaker.

“Come on up.”

The three words he’s most anxious to hear at the beginning of each week and the phrase that lingers in the back of his mind all weekend. With ease he manages to squeeze out those few words he won’t think twice about but have such a heavy impact over Hoseok. Although the depression and darkness that drove Hoseok to drugs in the first place still remains, those first words carelessly spilling out of the mouth of the man who unknowingly is his small and distant light, each week when he hears this, even though he feels like he is drowning he is able to “come on up.”

The door unlocks and Hoseok makes his way up to the fifth floor, stepping over cockroaches and only screaming a little when he sees a dead rat.

He reaches apartment “14.” There’s a space before the two numbers with a lighter coat of paint, in the shape of a ‘5,’ indicating where the missing number should be. Before he knocks, the most beautiful man he’s ever known yanks the door open. A man shorter than him with a beautiful grecian nose and a black hair pushed to the sides of his face greets Hoseok with an apologetic expression. He wears his signature black hoodie reading, “I.M WHAT I AM” across the chest accompanied by black joggers. Hoseok does his best to compose himself.

“What’s up, I.M?”

“I’ll be real with you Wonho, I forgot it was Thursday until you rang a few minutes ago and I don't have your shit ready.” Hoseok falters a bit, disappointed at how his short legged, deep voiced god, could ever possibly forget one of his most regular customers. “But you can come in while I get it.”

Hoseok blurts out “sure,” almost too excitedly and trips over the threshold into his apartment, finally making it past the first few feet of the front door. Hoseok’s heart starts racing immediately, suddenly regretting wearing his cartoon hoodie and sweatpants instead of a sexier and more mature outfit. Usually he arrives at this well-known drug spot, swaps his cash for pills and after a few minutes of small talk leaves as quickly as he came. Now he’s faced with a dilemma; making casual conversation with the street pharmacist he’s secretly in love with.

“Make yourself at home, this should only take a few minutes,” I.M says while disappearing into what Hoseok can only assume is the kitchen. 

Hoseok looks around and sees that despite how the dirty and unimpressive building looks outside the apartment, I.M keeps his living space clean and organized for the most part. He sees no drug paraphernalia in the living room and immediate living space, probably for the best. He instead sees electronics everywhere, a small desk set up in one of the corners with a computer and multiple monitors. It appears to be a small studio space with high tech audio equipment including a gold microphone in the center of the desk. But taking up most of the room, the 62 inch television screen hangs from the main wall with one large black leather couch facing it and a glass coffee table in front of it. He sees multiple game consoles in the cabinet underneath the TV. He plops down on the couch and picks up one of the magazines from the coffee table, trying to calm down from the amazement of finally seeing his crush’s place of residence.

“Sorry I didn’t have your shit ready, it’s been one hell of a week,” he says louder, now speaking from the other room.

Hoseok is taken aback by the apology, and responds, “It’s fine, I know that it’s about to be finals for the universities and you get busy around this time.”

I.M chuckles and shouts back, “Yeah, the big adderall and cocaine weeks, but I also just started a new job. A real salary position that allows me to not lie completely to the government.”

Hoseok is stunned and puts his feet up on the coffee table, which he assumes is okay judging from the gently used sneakers on the other side of the table. “You got a real job?” I.M snorts.

“I mean, not meaning to be rude, of course this is a real job. It's just why would a drug dealer get another job, wouldn’t this pay well? Not trying to pry about your income or anything.”

“Ha, don’t worry, Wonho, I’m not offended. But yeah, I got another job. I make bank during the peak seasons and there’s usually steady business year round, but I want more consistent money at a place where I have a future.”

Hoseok is grateful for the interruption to him being incredibly awkward and continues on.

“Do you mind if I ask where you work?”

“I just started as an audio engineer for the music company, Starship.”

Hoseok is speechless for a few seconds. “That’s crazy, I actually used to be a trainee there.”

“Really?” For the first time I.M seemed to be intrigued by what Hoseok said, his deep voice reaching a few semitones higher. “How long did you train? And I’m assuming you didn’t debut, why did you leave?” 

There’s a few seconds of silence and I.M speaks again, “Not to overstep of course, you don't have to tell me.”

“No it’s okay, I just realized I wasn’t cut out to be an idol. At least not to be in a dancing boy group. I trained for 6 weeks and ended up quitting to work on my own stuff. I’d much rather write and compose. Maybe I can even just sing my own stuff one day.”

I.M is really intrigued now and begins firing out multiple questions at once. “Is that what you do now, write and compose? Or is it a hobby? What all have you worked on? And you can sing too? Why didn’t I know all of this before?”

Hoseok laughs loudly and stops I.M in his line of questioning. “Sorry, If I was too much-“

Hoseok interrupts again, “No, I’m sorry if I was being rude, it was just... nice how interested in it you were. It’s been a while since anyone took an interest in my passion for music.”

“Yeah, I know exactly how that feels.” There's a moment of silence before I.M reenters the room with two small baggies, a dub sack of weed and another with a handful of xanax. “That’ll be $80, please.”

Hoseok, surprised that with the amount of xanax alone it should at least be $120, he gently tosses his cash on the coffee table and I.M slides onto the couch. He grabs the money and in it’s space deposits two bags of pleasure, some of the few things that make Hoseok’s weeks go by much faster, besides the man sitting next to him of course. I.M counts the cash and puts it into the pocket of his hoodie.

“You never answered my questions.”

“What?”

“So do you write and compose for a different company or something? What do you do?”

“Now I’m an administrative assistant for a legal firm downtown, the money is okay. But I still work on my music in my free time.”

“Can I hear some of it?”

“I’ll send you my sound cloud so you can listen when I leave,” he awkwardly laughs at the end. Hoseok was nervous to have someone with whom he regularly interacts, and one with an ear for music, to listen and to criticize his work.

“I get it, I’ll give you mine too.” They exchange IDs. 

“What kind of music do you make?”

“I’m a rapper so mainly hip hop, it kind of goes with the drug dealing business,” I.M laughs it off and asks him in return, “what about you?”

“More alternative r&b and pop style. But at least you have real experience to draw from for rapping, I’m hardly ever inspired anymore since starting this job.”

I.M laughs, “how did you even get into the legal field?”

  
  


This prompts Hoseok to relate a brief retelling of all his various job fields, ending with being in his current career simply because it’s the most high paying position he’s interviewed and been offered so far. I.M also jokes about some of the meaningless jobs he’s had and talks more about his career choices after college, which Hoseok was surprised to learn he actually attended. He ended up quitting his well-paying 401k job to deal drugs for some people he met along the way.

Hoseok asks, “You were in marketing after graduating from college early, and making bank, how did you end up a drug dealer?” I.M quickly fell silent after that. He stared out of the window with a small pout on his lips and sadness behind his eyes.

Before he could apologize, I.M spoke.

“That’s a long story... I’ll tell you another time.” He spoke somberly and seems to drift off into a wave of melancholic nostalgia.

“So there will be another time?” Hoseok was stunned at his own ability to speak so fearlessly, not sure where this spontaneity was coming from.

“Yeah, fuck it. You’re cool to talk to, I’ll tell you all about how my life fell apart... just not tonight.”

Now Hoseok was grateful for being so bold, with new information and an invitation to see him again, he was emboldened more than ever.

“So what’s your dream?”

“What?”

“I mean the way you talk about it, dealing isn’t the end goal, so what do you, I.M, want to do?”

Without any hesitation he responds, “I want to make music. Once I get my credit up for this amazing music studio, I’m done with dealing for good. You know I purposely live in this shit hole because it’s cheap. I save so much money by spending virtually zero dollars on rent, since I deal to the landlord,” he laughs at the end, with a bitter smile. 

“But once I get this studio downtown, I’ll move in. I practically live in my studio now so there wouldn’t be any point to pay two separate rents. This new job is what’s gonna help me reach my goals. I wanna be a rapper.”

Hoseok smiled and stared at him. “I have no doubt you’ll be an amazing musician.”

I.M, for the first time in a long time that Hoseok was lucky enough to witness, blushes slightly and turns away and smiles. How did he get even more adorable? 

_Wait, did his drug dealer just blush? At something he said?_

Suddenly he turns back and says, “Holy shit we’ve been talking for an hour? Time flies, huh?” I.M stands up, “I’ll walk you to the door.”

Hoseok is definitely disappointed now, he had so much fun talking to I.M and wanted to continue learning things about him. But at least now he knew there was an opportunity for that later. Hoseok slowly stands up and follows him to the front door.

“Thanks for waiting while I got your shit together... and thanks for talking with me.” He slightly blushes again and Hoseok realizes that he wasn’t kicking him out, I.M felt awkward for taking more of his time.

“I had a great time talking to you, next time let’s talk more about your music and that part of your backstory that led us... well, here.”

“Next week, I got you.” I.M smiles wide enough to show his dimples, something Hoseok hasn’t seen in years. Hoseok draws a sharp breath and wishes he had a camera ready, but too quickly, I.M starts to back away and close the door. 

As the door closes, it dawns on Hoseok that this moment is quickly coming to an end, and he’s not ready for it to be over. Maybe because the events of the night were so unpredictable that it led him to saying this, something not even his own mind saw coming.

“Changkyun.”

The name left his mouth before his brain could process it. Hoseok surprises himself, the object of his affection’s name is used so rarely, not even his ‘coworkers’ use his real name, preferring the more intimidating “I.M.” The least uttered and yet most perfect and beautiful sounding word to pass through his lips. He said his name without a thought attached, just wanting him to turn around so he could see his face again. 

But now he’s suddenly anxious and begins thinking that maybe he crossed a line, no one uses his real name for a reason and now he’s said it loud enough for the whole floor to hear. And on top of that, he has nothing he was planning to say, and struggles to think of anything, even the most superficial and unoriginal line of small talk.

“I know I don’t make much, but if your music studio is that important to you, I promise I’ll buy more drugs,” Hoseok lets out with a laugh. I.M stays silent and tilts his head sideways, still processing that statement. Hoseok quickly chastises himself, realizing how ridiculous all of this was and how he should’ve just left instead of making things awkward, especially with a terrible joke. Hoseok considers making a run for it when I.M finally opens his mouth to speak.

“I’ll hold you to it,” Changkyun says, slowly breaking into a grin displaying those glorious dimples again on each cheek. Hoseok’s heart grows three sizes and he feels like all the love he can give is about to burst out of his chest. But he can’t admit to everything he’s feeling, as much as he wants to. So with a slight bow, he says goodbye, and slowly exits the building. 

  
  
  


Although the temperatures have dropped significantly in the time he overstayed at Changkyun’s place, the warmth that has spread throughout him has Hoseok melting all the way home.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do all my own editing so sorry if I miss anything. I’ll probably pump a couple chapters out and then have a set schedule after that. 
> 
> Please enjoy.

“Hoseok, can I talk to you for a second in my office?”

That wasn’t a good sign. Hoseok knew he had been slacking on his work lately due to his seasonal depression, but being called into a head attorney’s office gave way to more serious implications. 

Hoseok takes a deep breath, grateful for the two bars of Xanax he took about 45 minutes ago, and quickly stands up from his desk. He briskly follows one of the lead attorneys into her office and sits down in a seat positioned towards her desk. 

Her office is small and cramped, just enough room for a small desk and two chairs. The plain off-white walls lacking decorations, as well as personality, set the austere ambiance of the room. A small black nameplate with white characters spelling out the name, ‘Park Sohyun’ sat at the front of her desk. Yet, a small furry white cat figurine sat under the computer monitor. It was positioned with its back arched, tail straight up, and teeth bared, hissing at its viewer. It stood just out of the line of sight from its owner. He wondered if she even knew it was there at all. 

“I’ll get straight to the point, Mr. Lee, I’m sure you’ve noticed as much as I have that you’ve been falling behind on your work.”

Hoseok bows and apologizes immediately. “I’ll stay late and catch up on all of my work if necessary, I’ll do whatever it takes-“

“That wasn’t my point.” Hoseok is quiet and confused, wondering about where else that premise could possibly take this conversation. “I was going to add, that it doesn’t really matter anyway since the business has been going downhill this past year or so, even before you started here.”

Although that added statement gave Hoseok some comfort, he was still slightly worried about what this meant for his fate at this company. “Oh,” was all that managed to spill out.

She smirks and leans over her desk slightly. “Between you and me, all of us should be looking for new jobs in these next few months. Thing’s aren't looking so promising for Kim & White anymore.”

“But this used to be one of the top law firms in the country, what happened?”

“At the expense of growing, obtaining the top lawyers in the business and reeling in all new clients, Mr. Kim wanted to keep things ‘small’ and ‘family oriented’ and not controlled by greedy capitalists and bullshit like that. But now we’re out of clients because he was scared of change, and all of this was for nothing. Some change he’s made.”

Hoseok is stunned at her brutal honesty and continues to sit in silence, soaking up her words. She leans back into her chair and props her legs up on her desk. He finally realizes that she’s wearing a pencil skirt, shorter than what could possibly be seen as professional, and is staring at him intently. She breaks into a slow smirk and takes her glasses off of the top of her head, using them to touch her bottom lip.

“I know your resume is a mess, and you haven’t stayed at any job longer than a year, but if you stick with me kid, I'm sure you’ll be just fine.” She adds a small wink to the end of her statement, and Hoseok can infer from her body language exactly what she means. And yet he wants clarification anyways.

“Um, Miss Park, how exactly could you help me?” He looks directly into her eyes, daring her to be direct and say exactly what she’s thinking. He notices the crows feet around her eyes, and although wrinkles are to be expected at that age, it’s still shocking to see them on women in Korea with the pressure of plastic surgery on the back of everyone’s minds. She’s still beautiful, just not his type. He prefers more… masculine energy.

She drops her feet to the ground and slowly moves her chair towards Hoseok. She grabs his knee and looks directly into his eyes. “Maybe you and I should stick together. Since Kim & White is going under, I could get you a job at another firm. Or better yet, we could form our own team, I’ll even let you intern under me. I have a lot of experience to pass on.” 

She licks her lips and Hoseok grabs her hand as it starts to move up his thigh. He stands up quickly and goes to the door. Miss Park scoots her chair back in shock at his response, waiting for an explanation.

“Miss Park, as much as I appreciate your um offer, you’re not exactly my type. And I’m grateful for the opportunity I’ve had here and would like to see it through till the end. Please don’t speak to me like that again.” Satisfied with his response which he thinks is safe and polite, he quickly exits the room to his desk. He grabs the baggie of pills from his briefcase and makes his way to the bathroom.  
  


__

After crushing up two more bars and snorting a couple of lines, he rests his head on the wall next to the toilet wondering how his life turned out like this. Wishing he was straight so he could take advantage of the business opportunity in front of him instead of continuing to struggle, wondering how drugs became his main coping mechanism, and wondering what Changkyun was doing right now. He smiles instantly just because of his name and lifts his head up to look at his watch, only an hour left of work. If only the day was over already. He finally flushes the unused toilet, tucks the baggie away in his pocket and washes his hands.

As he leaves the men’s restroom, he feels Miss Park watching his every move through her office window as he walks back to his desk. He sits down without looking in her direction and instead turns to his clock.

  
  


Only 57 minutes left.  
  


* * *

  
  


Hoseok walks to the bus stop, defeated for the day, possibly even the rest of the year. He was thrown for a loop from the events of just the past 24 hours and was ready to stay at home for the weekend. Instead of being productive and cleaning his apartment, he knew he would most likely be engaging in another drug binge for the next two and a half days. He was actually getting stressed from this new development at work and as the snow continued to fall, he knew he wouldn’t be willing to leave his apartment anyways. Hoseok leans his head back against the top of the bench and closes his eyes.

“Wonho?”

He snaps up at the beautiful and familiar sounding voice, smiling the moment his eyes meet Changkyun’s.

“Chan- I mean, I.M! What are you doing here?”

“Starship is only a few blocks away from here, I was walking to my car. What are you doing here?” Before Hoseok could answer his question, I.M responds to himself. “I guess you’re here at the bus station waiting for the bus, huh?” 

He laughs awkwardly and his face grows a light shade of pink. Hoseok had never seen I.M blush this much the entire time he’s known him, but he quickly started to love and get used to the sight.

“Haha, yeah I’m just waiting for the bus. It’s been a long day at work.”

“Sorry to hear that. Well, It’s pretty cold out, I could give you a ride if you wanted?” He asks quickly without thinking, seeming to realize after he already offered that he doesn’t really even know where he lives. 

“No, it's okay, I wouldn’t want to put you out. Plus I’m used to using public transport in the winter, I know the secrets of how not to freeze to death out in public, haha.” He cringes inwardly at himself and swears he isn’t normally this awkward. It seems everyone around him lately is pushing him out of his comfort zone, for better or worse.

“I asked because I want to, don’t feel awkward,” I.M looks down and it’s silent for a brief moment before he continues, his eyes still searching the sidewalk. “Plus if you want, my crib is close by, as you already know, we can smoke and play video games or something. I owe you a story anyway.” He laughs and finally looks up at him, his dimples making another surprise appearance. 

Hoseok can’t help but smile brightly and jump up from the bench. “Hell yeah, I’m down!” 

Changkyun, although still smiling, cocks his head to the side and looks at him in surprise, forcing Wonho to add cooly, “I mean, sure, let's go.” 

Wonho sticks his hands in his pockets and walks right up next to I.M who flips his hood over his head and begins to lead the way to his car.

“So what are we playing when we get there?”

“I have like everything, any shooter or sports game you want. I also have like 3 PS4s at the crib since the squad will come back and play when they’re downtown killing time, so we could co-op. Basically I could kick your ass in more ways than one,” he teases him.

“I know I don’t play much but I hate to lose, if anyone’s getting their ass whooped, it's definitely you.”

“Well I play so much that winning comes naturally, it’s gonna be that ass!”

“You won’t be so cocky when I win every game. And why are you so obsessed with this ass?”

Changkyun laughs and playfully punches him. He then shakes his fingers in front of his throat, signaling ‘nah.’ Hoseok laughs along too while stealing a couple of glances Changkyun’s way. If it wasn’t so cold outside, he could’ve sworn he made him blush again.

They reach Changkyun’s Nissan Sentra and Hoseok loads his backpack into the backseat as I.M turns the car on and puts the heat on full blast. Hoseok then closes the back door and rushes into the passenger seat, eager to get away from the increasing amount of snowfall. 

“Sorry the whip is old as hell, but at least it still runs.”

”Nah, you’re good, at least you have a car. And it's clean,” Hoseok laughs and looks around the car that’s free from crumbs and wrappers, unlike his friends’ cars.

“Yeah I just hate dirty cars for some reason. I guess it’s one thing if it’s my own room that’s dirty but if I ever pick people up, I’d feel bad making them sit on crumbs and shit.”

“I wish my friends thought the same, I’m sad to say I’ve sat on a melted choco pie before.”

“That’s disgusting,” I.M chuckles and finally pulls out of his parking spot and into the street. “So should we stop by your place first or head straight to mine?”

Hoseok still couldn’t believe he was on his way to hang out with I.M, no drugs involved. Well, no drugs that he was buying. He feels like they are taking a step in their relationship back to being friends, and he’s hoping he hides his excitement well. Who knows, maybe they could become more if he played his cards right. But even if nothing happened he was excited just to spend more time with him again.

“What are you smiling about?”

“Huh?”

“You were like giggling to yourself,” 

“Oh sorry, I just thought of something funny. But we can just go straight to yours, I always keep spare clothes in my bag.”

“Dope, lets hit it.” 

I.M proceeds to plug the aux cord into his phone and play the album ‘Gemini’ by Yoon Mirae.

“You’re a MFBTY fan?”

“Yeah, I call Tasha and Drunken Tiger my parents sometimes.” 

“I didn’t realize your parents were famous.”

“They are, legends too. That's where I get my rapping ability from,” I.M jokes and begins rapping along with the lyrics. 

_Got to the point where we don’t even care_

_When we was struggling you wasn’t there_

_We kept on hustlin knew we would double it_

_Champagne was bubblin, love in the air_

I.M clears his throat and turns down the radio slightly. “By the way, I listened to a few of your soundcloud tracks, you didn’t tell me how good your music was!”

Hoseok's eyes open wide and he feels his cheeks grow warm at the compliment. He giggles while answering, “Thank you, I also got to listen to yours. ‘Who Am I’ is fire! You should put more stuff out!”

“Damn thanks, man. I have a new track dropping next Friday. It’s called ‘Fly With Me.’”

“I’ll keep an eye out for it. Why haven’t you put out more music?”

“Well now that I’m at Starship I have access to all this dope equipment but at the same time, my producer name is associated with their company. So in the beginning, they want me to be careful with the music I put out. It’s taken longer to get my own stuff together, as well as produce for these groups, but it’s also making me a better musician so I’m grateful.”

“Wow, I’m glad it’s working out for you, you’re really talented.”

“Thanks, you too, and I’m not just saying that. We should collab sometime, forreal,” I.M says as he pulls into his parking spot in front of the apartment. He leaves the car on as he turns to Hoseok for his response. 

And what was he to say, no? To doing his favorite hobby which is making music, and hanging out with the love of his life at the same time? 

“Hell yeah, you’re a talented musician with the hook up? Whenever you’re ready I’m down.”

I.M smiles and lets himself get excited for once. “Next weekend lets cook something up.” He finally turns off the ignition and hops out of the car. Hoseok smiles to himself before stepping out and grabbing his backpack. 

  
  


After they enter his apartment, I.M immediately plops down on the couch and starts rolling a blunt. 

“Hey, where’s your bathroom?”

“Down the hall to the left.”

“Thanks.” Hoseok grabs his joggers and extra t-shirt from his bag and makes his way to the bathroom. He closes the door and makes eye contact in the mirror.

_Holy shit, I’m hanging out with Changkyun again._

It felt strange but so good to hang out with his old high school buddy, wondering why they drifted apart when they used to be so close. But he shakes it off and changes quickly, eager to make most of the time he has with him. He exits with work clothes in hand to see Changkyun smoking with one hand and setting up two PS4 systems with another. Talent.

“So do you wanna lose at 2k or Doom? Shit, I even have A Way Out that I still haven’t played yet.”

“Let me kick your ass in Doom and then we can move onto A Way Out.”

Changkyun smiles and holds the blunt out to Hoseok. 

“Let’s fuckin’ go.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


After a few hours of playing Doom, Changkyun decides that they’re starving and they order fried chicken and other snacks from the store a block away. Changkyun reassures Hoseok that this place has ‘the best cheap ass chicken on this side of town’ and Hoseok is so high that he has no choice but to believe him. After ripping into the chicken and the cheap beers I.M brought out, they play ‘A Way Out’ for a couple more hours before Wonho taps out.

“I can’t do anymore, my eyes are burning.”

“Oh come on man, were so close to finishing the game.”

“Well I need a quick break.”

“Fine I’ll get us more beers.”

As I.M gets up, Wonho takes over the couch and places his hands over his eyes. I.M stumbles a bit and knocks over a couple bottles sitting on the coffee table. “Maybe I should clean some of this shit up.” He leaves and comes back with two beers and a trash bag, struggling to place all of the empty cans littered around the table and floor into the bag. “Okay maybe I’m a lil cross faded now.”

“Dude I know, that’s why I had to stop. Also I thought you were going to fall over while doing that,” Hoseok laughs and sits up so that I.M had room to tumble over onto the couch. He sits slumped against the arm of the couch and puts one arm over his eyes.

“So I guess I shouldn’t roll another one then?”

“Haha, you’re scary.”

I.M and Hoseok chuckle at that and pick up their beers to cheers. They both lean back into the couch, close their eyes and slowly sip on their beers in silence.

“Remember when we did this shit in high school?”

“Bro, all the time. Things were so much easier then.”

“Yeah a lot of things changed since then.”

I.M opens his eyes and leans forward, lightly pouting, “yeah, they have.” They return to silence.

“What even happened? How did you start dealing?” Hoseok opened his eyes and turned to meet Changkyun’s gaze. Changkyun sighs, exhaling all of the resentment he seems to hold in and resigns to his fate as it lies now. He takes a deep breath in and leans back into the couch again.

“Basically, when I first started my career job, I wasn’t getting paid enough to cover all my bills and the student loans I ended taking out my last two years of college. All because I wanted to study abroad in America.”

“That’s why your English has gotten so good.” Hoseok says to no one in particular, just realizing those few moments where I.M would speak his other language, it seemed to be a lot clearer.

“Haha yeah, thanks. But I paid a price for it. I just needed a lil side gig so that I could pay the rest of my loans off and stop worrying about it. So I decided to deal for some friends at a party where we knew it was gonna be a big night.” Changkyun takes a big swig of his beer and gets lost in his thoughts. He remains quiet and forgets he was even telling a story. 

“Changkyun?”

Changkyun smiles and looks towards Hoseok, “it’s weird when you call me that.”

Hoseok blushes and reluctantly utters, “Sorry, I can stop calling you that if you want.”

Changkyun smiles again, big enough to show his dimples. “It's weird in a good way. No one calls me by my name anymore.” He takes another swig and says “You can call me whatever you want.”

Hoseok smiles this time, “well then, Changkyun, finish your story.”

  
  


“Basically I got busted at this party, and all my drugs were confiscated. And I asked some friends to bail me out, and they did, big time. They even managed to get the charges dropped somehow, but I owed them. I had to deal for them for a bit until I paid it off, and ended up quitting my full time job so I can pay off all my debts… and here I am still doing it.” Changkyun frowns and takes another drink. 

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? So far you’re probably the only person who hasn’t burned me.” Changkyun lays his right arm back over his face and if Hoseok wasn’t paying attention, he wouldn’t have seen his eyes start to water.

“What do you mean?”

“Well between you and me, that whole thing felt like a set up.”

Hoseok stares in silence, he had absolutely no idea what to say to that. He moves in an attempt to wrap his arm around Changkyun’s shoulders, but chickens out half way. They were still in the process of getting to know each other again and he didn’t wanna ruin things by overstepping boundaries or being overly affectionate. Changkyun turns his wrist around and distances it from his face so he can read the time.

“How the fuck is it almost 2 am?”

Hoseok looks down at his watch and confirms it’s 1:51 am. “Holy shit, time flies.”

“Yeah dude,” Changkyun stands up and slurs his words, “I’ll take you home after I take a piss,” and stumbles down the hallway to his bathroom. Hoseok lays across the couch and is on the verge of sleeping again when Changkyun interrupts. “Okay so I can’t drive, so feel free to stay here and I’ll take you back tomorrow. My bad.”

Hoseok would normally be excited at the thought of staying at his place if he wasn't already so close passing out on the couch anyways. He just closes his eyes again only for his sleep to be interrupted again.

“Dude, my bed is way more comfortable.”

Hoseok opens his eyes in surprise at what he’s implying, surprised that someone he doesn’t know too well anymore would let him sleep in the same bed as he.

“I won’t make you sleep on my sad ass couch since it’s my fault you’re staying the night anyways.” I.M chuckles and starts heading to his room.

“I don’t have to sleep there if you really don't want me to, I don’t mind staying on the couch.” 

_What the fuck was he saying?_

Changkyun turns back around and somehow confidently articulates, “I’m gonna say this once and hopefully you don’t misunderstand. If I ever offer to help you out, don’t feel awkward, I genuinely want to help. I won’t offer anything I can’t do. So don’t feel uncomfortable saying yes because of how I feel. Say yes or no depending on how you feel.”

Changkyun lingers for a moment and instead of waiting for an answer, he waves Hoseok into the direction of his bedroom and disappears. Hoseok wonders how he could be so lit yet so coherent at the same time, and after a few seconds, stands up to follow him into his room.

His room is mostly bare, all of the effort went into furnishing the living room and studio. A nice queen sized bed with black sheets and a black comforter is pushed to the far corner of the room with a night table right beside it. There is also a smaller TV hanging on the wall, and a recliner whose sole purpose seemed to be holding all of Changkyun’s laundry.

“I promise my bed is clean, I also just put on new sheets.”

“Good, so I won’t find any crusty socks or anything down your comforter?” Changkyun punches Hoseok in the arm and climbs into bed on the side closest to the wall. Hoseok climbs in after him and lies down facing the door. 

“Changkyun?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for tonight, I really needed it.”

“Hey, we’re friends, if you ever wanna hang out, outside of buying drugs, just let me know ‘cause I’m down for whatever. I need some new hobbies anyway.”

Hoseok snorts and closes his eyes. He wants to say something, lately every time he is around Changkyun he decides to be informal and personal with him. He hesitates before speaking because he realized how intimate this moment had become. Not even a day ago would he ever believe he’d be laying in the same bed as Changkyun, let alone learning personal details about him. However, he also realizes how I.M was upfront with him, and he chooses to be blunt right back.

“By the way,” he falters, Hoseok began to lose his nerve for some reason. 

“Yeah?” Changkyun chuckles lightly, knowing that he was holding back. He probably even predicted what he was going to say before his mind could conjure the words.

“You can rely on me too, I mean, if I’m ever able to offer something I mean it too. Plus, I like hanging out with you so stop apologizing for taking my time.”

Changkyun is silent at that and at this point Hoseok knows not to look too much into it. He closes his eyes and prepares for sleep.

“I guess we’ve come to an understanding. Goodnight, bro.”

Hoseok smiles and feels him move around slightly on his side of the bed before he settles and starts snoring gently. He can’t go to sleep quite yet though, replaying three words a few times in the back of his mind.

  
  


“ _Hey, we’re friends.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story I’ve written and I decided to post it lmao. Tell me if you like it, if it sucks, if there’s a better way to format, etc. I’m open to all constructive criticism. I have the story mapped out and the next couple of chapters actually written so let me know if I should update or quit because i suck haha. But here it is, my baby.
> 
> Please enjoy this as much as I have.


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